One thing that trigger my mind today was, who are my friends?

To be honest I have no real friends they come and go all the time. Am I doing something wrong or have I just not met the right friends yet? Well either way, I realized that I don’t give a fuck about my so call “friends” the ones that only talk to me when they want to look for an excuse to do something because they’re bored. My only true friends are my family or people I can consider as family too. I love them to death. I’m so thankful to have them in my life.

And to those so call “friends” I’m cutting you out. So if I never reply to you, don’t be surprised you saw this coming bitch. Im tired of being the nice friend here and putting up with your bullshit. Your lost. Haha

Today is a gloomy day. Very gloomy, I need to be at peace with myself. I told myself I won’t cry today. I’m trying to avoid you in my mind. But some how I can’t. I wish you can see how much I need you just as much as I need god in my life. I love you just as much god loves me, I now understand how much god loves me. I believe this is a wake up call for me. He’s calling my name! Are you willing to run towards god with me? I know I’m not the smartest girl, I’m not the prettiest, and I’m not the sweetest girl. And I’m ok with that I’m not perfect, I’m ok with the fact that I’m not perfect. I make mistakes, but i learn from my mistakes. I never meant to hurt you, i never even planed to. But you know what, I love my flaws. I’m the girl who lost her sister, I’m the girl who wears glasses and prefers to have my hair tied and no make up. This is who I am, and I am ok with who I am. This is who god made me. I’m proud of who I am. Now are you willing to take my hand and run towards god with me?

I made up my mind…I’m moving on I can’t wait for you just to make a decision if you want to be with me or not. Its a decision you should already know in your heart.

I miss you…this space you ask for is hard I need you in my life…I can’t go a day without you.

I see little girls that are sisters out at the grocery store, at the park or just at the mall…my eyes start to get watery I really miss my sister. It gets me every time I see others with their sister. I start to have flash backs of what my sister and I use to do. I miss her dearly it’s killing me inside…

RIP MISSY

I see everything I have been through. I can’t believe I lost my sister. I can’t believe it happen to us. I still won’t understand why. All I know is she wouldn’t want me to mourn over her death but to celebrate her life…it hurts for me to put on a smile everyday and go on with my life…life simply just not fair…